The list.

Some people tell me that I have unrealistic expectations for my future husband. I think i'm just setting my standards high. Obviously when the time to think about marriage comes i'm not going to pull out my list and be like "oops, you're a better cook than I am, and i'm only interested in someone who can cook almost as well as I can." Then give him the boot. I have the must haves and the would be nice's.
don't laugh.

Must Have:

• Loves the Lord
• Treats his mother with respect
• Returned Missionary
• Gets along well with my parents and siblings.
• Desire to work hard and provide for a family.
• The ability to communicate
• Honesty and integrity
• Wants to have a big family.
• Kind

Would be nice

• 6"3 or taller
• Dark hair, dark eyes
• Can cook almost as well as I can
• Smart (specifically in math so my children don't only get stuck with bad-at-math genes)
• Musically talented, preferably piano so he can play beautiful music. also, so I can justify owning a piano.
• Doesn't want to live in one place for the rest of our lives.
• Comes from a good family
• Spontaneous
• Someone who would follow me to New York
• Someone who can relate to my life and I can relate to his. 
• Loves to try new things

I think the best part about knowing what I want to look for in a future spouse, is in the end only the top ones really matter. the others are silly teenage girl dreams for the perfect man. If he actually exists, let me know. Otherwise, i'll happily take a great one.

Back in the day.

Yesterday when I was at the dentist they told me that the next time I was there I would be able to sign my own consent forms. That was when it hit me. I'm growing up. Weird. The picture above is from freshman year. I thought I had it all and knew everything. Looking back I knew even less than I did now. So much to learn, and not a lot of time to learn it. 

What I realized at 11:59 PM last night.

Mormon Dance. Four hundred teenagers crowded around each other waiting for the clock to strike midnight, for a new start. One of the things I wanted before we put 2012 behind us was closure. I didn't want to feel like a certain someone owed me an explanation as to why they lied to me our entire relationship. I wanted the truth and I wanted to leave it with last year. But I've been ignoring him since October and am too stubborn to break the silence. One conversation, he owed me that. But as the balloons were about to drop at the strike of midnight, I realized I already had the closure I needed. I don't miss him, I don't even think we should be friends. We are not supposed to be in each others lives anymore. I am not sure if we ever were supposed to be in the first place, but we were. It is time to look towards the future and forget the boy who thought it was okay to lie. Moving on to a better time for both of us. Also remembering that there were some good times. No bitterness, wishing him the best. But looking towards a new year without old drama. So when the clock struck twelve and screams filled the room I smiled. Because everything is new, and I don't have to bring any of the old with me if i don't want to.
Happy New Year.

Sarah Smith.

2013.

I hate resolutions. hate them. I hate that the moment Christmas day comes to a close Costco goes from sampling torte and peppermint bark to Veggie straws and apple juice. not to mention the aisles lined with vitamins, dietary supplements, and weight loss pills that make you feel like a total looser for just eating healthy and exercising. So needless to say I don't make new years resolutions. I believe that if there is something you would like to change in your life you can start today, or tomorrow, or even months from now, and if you don't really have your mind set on it then it''s not going to happen, you won't change what you wanted to. Instead I make a list of things i would like to happen in the upcoming year, things to look forward to. If you want to put lose fifty pounds on your list of resolutions how about starting smaller. the big goals are the hard part, but they're a lot easier to get to when you set small ones.

for me, i'm just excited for all that is going to change in 2013. i'm about to enter an entirely different stage of life and if that isn't exciting i don't know what is. 

Sarah Smith's 2013:

Deciding on a college!

Family trip to NYC with the cousins.

Turning eighteen.

Sending friends off on missions.

Graduating High School.

Final Summer as a Kid.

Going to College. 

Going home for thanksgiving and Christmas.

successfully finishing my first semester in college.

It is going to be a beyond huge year for me, and i'm excited, scared, and kind of want to pee my pants. there is a lot to look forward to but there is also a lot to work towards and that is the best part. 

note how not getting married halfway through freshman year did not make the list. in spite of my families jokes about marriage, making it to 2014 single is no guarantee. like i said, welcome to the year of so many changes. but seriously, i'm not getting married halfway through freshman year.

Here is to 2013, kids.

Sarah Smith.