it all started in eighth grade. i had a really fantastic idea, and no idea how to write it. luckily, i was quickly becomming best friends with someone who did. that was the beginning of what turned into a three hundred page fan fiction written by yours truly. i can't really explain what i loved about writing those words, but i loved it so much. it was as if every word was real, and not only was i the person writing it, but i was also the person living it. i dreamed of the day that i could have a love story as perfect as the one i was creating in my book. there were times that i wished i could have the chance to play the main character, to get to feel loved like payton did. but then something amazing happened. i wittnessed a relationship like the one i had written in my story before my very eyes. boy meets girl, girl likes boy. girl creepishly stalks boy. boy plays along with girl. boy confesses love to girl. boy and girl hold hands. boy and girl become great friends. boy and girl become more than friends. in my fan fiction, Joe lies to Payton about his true identity, and they fall in love. Payton falls in love with someone who is keeping something from her, and when she finds out, she has the opportunity to give it all up, but she can't. Payton has fallen in love with this person, and is willing to except that even though they did something really stupid and jeopardized their relationship, people make mistakes. sure, he lost her trust for awhile, but she can't deny what they have together. sometimes it's hard to forgive people and continue loving them. forgive and forget is easy, but putting it behind you while continuing to live your every day life is a challenge. i just don't think i could've let payton make the other decision. i don't think i could have watched her give up someone so amazing, someone who makes them so happy, just because of a mistake. sure, it lost her trust, it hurt her, and was a blow to her ego, but she was the better person and put it behind them. my point is, Payton and Joe didn't miss out on anything. they became stronger because of a few things that went on between the two of them. sure they are my fictional characters, and i pour my heart and soul into my writing, but i want them to be real too. i just think that when you meet someone who makes you so happy, you shouldn't let them go. as i was writing, i knew both payton and joe's sides of the story. i knew that the two of them would be happier together than alone. sure, i made them that way, but the same thing applies to the real world. a relationship is learning to make sacrifices, to forgive other people for their flaws. especially in highschool when you're learning who you like and what traits you want the people you date to have. i hate to watch two people i love so much be heartbroken like this. i hate the fact that someone i'm so close to is blaming the entire thing on theirself. i just want everyone to kiss and make up and love eachother. of course, it doesn't help that i've lived my own relationships through their eyes. it' s not my fault people are intimidated by girls who are 6'1. anyways, if the people reading this could just listen for a minute and think. think about everything your special someone has done wrong. does it really matter in the end? yes. but don't the good things make up for the bad. for me they always do.
forever and always,